Life Updates – and attraction

I’m moving to NYC! (Not sure when. Maybe February? Depends on a series of variables.) The Boss really wants me to move for Work reasons and it makes sense for the artist relationship part of my job – which isn’t really what I’m doing right now as I’m trying to manage the Production Shop and set up things like automatically-deducting inventory, etc. It’s stuff I’m good at but not necessarily what I want to do so I’m looking forward to Production being self-sufficient.

My brother and I are going to move at the same time and get a place together. I think he’s less of a homebody than I am so maybe the two of us will actually go out and do things. I’m looking forward to being closer to a certain dear friend, and for shaking up my life, and getting rid of some of my literal excess baggage.

I’m going to keep my place and rent it out. There are some things I need to do to the place to get it renter-worthy. One of those things is to replace the dangerous fuse box. But my next-door neighbors are having their stairs re-done in wood and I got talking with Steve, who owns the woodworking company and does all the work himself, and now I’m going to have him do mine, too. He’s talented and has a good eye for detail. Plus since he just started his own company his rates are absurdly cheap. I can’t pass this up. (Him being charismatic and handsome had only a slight impact – this is a practical decision, I swear.) So I’m going to redo both sets of stairs in wood to match the laminate on the ground floor, and he’ll also do the tiny hallway upstairs. This way the only carpet in the house is in the bedrooms. I figure while I’m at it I may as well replace the hideous spindles and railings. This project will probably end up running me around $5,000. That’s why one has an investment account, right? To pull money from for things that raise your home value?

I’m in SLand tech right now – it’s bizarre to be calling cues instead of just running them myself. There are also an absurd number of people in the room doing nothing and playing on their phones. One of them is a very handsome TD – though his personal style makes him look like a trucker.

You know how when you’re attracted to somebody, you’re very aware of them? You notice when they walk into a room and you know where they’re sitting, and you notice when they aren’t around? TD and I spent a whole break chatting about my stitches and then later on he came to sit in the same row as me while we were doing Q-Q. He left for a bit and when he walked back in we immediately made eye contact and his face said “Do you need something from me?”  and my face said, “Well…” and so he came right over to me and I didn’t really need anything but I’d been scanning the room for somebody who might be available to fill my water bottle (stupid being stuck at the tech table) and he was kind enough to do that for me. So I am wondering about that – because I’d been trying to catch the attention of a lot of people and the fact that he was so aware of my gaze and actually looked to me immediately upon re-entering the room might mean that he’s feeling that same awareness.

A girl can dream.

On the other hand, there’s a man I’ve been physically involved with off and on for a few years who was in town for the weekend and trying to get me to hook up with him. I’m tired of being convenient fantasy-fulfillment for people like him and had absolutely no interest in doing that. It makes me feel a little like an object and our encounters have always been better for him than they are for me. So I told him that I’m in tech and ignored his “I need a BJ” text the other night. Just ugh. That sentence right there is this entire thing (I balk at using the word “relationship” because while it’s two people relating to each other it’s not in any way a Relationship) in a nutshell.

While I like to think that I’d be able to have a casual physical relationship with someone like TD, I have no idea what will happen once I’m actually with somebody. Because I haven’t had sex since That Time That Thing Happened.

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